The Value of Mom

Cook, taxi driver, nurse, counselor, teacher, cheerleader, fashion consultant, scheduler, party planner, judge and doctor.

Those aren't the hottest career paths for this year's college graduates; they are just a fraction of what we moms do each and every day. 

So, what exactly is our value?  Salary.com has valuated the "mom job" of both the "working" and stay-at-home moms. Based on a survey of more than 6,500 mothers, the website has determined that the time mothers spend performing 10 typical job functions would equate to an annual salary of $115,432 for a stay-at-home mom. Working moms 'at-home' salary is $63,472 in 2011; this is in addition to the salary they earn in the workplace.

Factoring in the unconditional love, worry, care and time we think about our children, as well as the amount of sleep we forgo, I would say the value is priceless.

So why did we become a mom in the first place? For me, I wanted to add to my life, to enrich it. I wanted to enjoy life all over again through a child’s eyes. (I am a big kid myself.)  Other moms I spoke to gave the following reasons:

• To expand their family lineage
• To express their love for their spouse
• Born to be a mother
• To be the kind of mom they had or wanted to have
• To simply love someone other than themselves
• It just ended up happening.

Denise Urso Galloway, a close friend and teacher, said, “ Because, as a teacher, my whole life revolves around kids.  I saw how beautiful and amazing they were, and wanted to make kids my avocation as well as my vocation.”

Kara Dixon Campbell is in the group of women who just knew she wanted to be a mother.

“I always did,” she said, “ I always wanted a husband and kids and the old fashioned family. I loved the idea of cooking and sitting around the table with everyone.”

Cari Camarra, a special education paraprofessional, said it beautifully: “I wanted to be a part of the mom club. Nothing is more enjoyable than being able to relive the wonders of childhood with your own children.”

Now, the question of the day, when do you become a mom? Is it at conception? When you see the plus sign on the stick? The moment you are in maternity clothing? When you see the ultrasound screen? Or when the nurse hands you this little life swaddled in a cozy blanket?

For some mothers, it’s all of those moments. Each and every one of them adds up to the feeling and job of being a mom.  No one defining moment makes you a mom. No one type of delivery makes you better than the next. Whether it is a C-section or vaginal birth, hospital or home, doctor or midwife, epidural or natural, we all did the same work: we created a life. And this, my fellow moms, no one can do better than we can! (Sorry, dads.)

Another group of moms are special and often overlooked:  adoptive mothers.  Their care and unconditional love for a child that needed a family is a special gift in itself. These moms wanted to give their lives new meaning and opened their hearts and homes to children, who become their own. To these special moms, I salute you and thank you. Without adoptive moms like my aunt, I would never have had my wonderful cousins whom I cannot imagine growing up without.

Being a mother changes everything. Some of us give up our bodies while others open their homes. Some of us leave our professions, others balance it all.  Whatever your role is and however it is played out, we need to remember that if we love our children and give them the care they need, then we are all good mothers.

Rachel Figueroa said something that really stuck with me as I talked to my mom friends. "Of all the things I have done wrong in my life, my two miracles were the most right.”

There is no right or wrong way to be a mom. We need to support each other, not make one better than the other. After all, in the end we all just want what is best for our children.

So, I want to wish all moms - married, single, working, stay at home, adoptive, surrogate and foster - a very happy Mother’s Day. You are the trunk of the family tree. You are the foundation of the home. You are the top-notch player in the game. We are the boo boo kissers, the snugglers, the hair holders for vomiting children and the ones who rush into the store just before it closes to get art supplies - you and your child forgot that art project was due tomorrow.

No one can take our place. Celebrate it; enjoy it and revel in it.

Some links for moms or expectant mothers:

http://pregnancy.about.com/od/newlypregnant/a/becomingmom.htm

http://swz.salary.com/momsalarywizard/htmls/mswl_momcenter.html